Sunday, August 22, 2010

Change is Me.

Change is a terrifying thing.
Of course, the bipolarity of change is a beautiful thing.

Having said that, I hate change for so many reasons. I want to be a kid forever. I want to be in love forever. I want to be in one beautiful moment forever.
On the other hand, I love change because change connotes growth, maturity, complexity. I want to experience all the intricacies of love, even if that means pain is necessarily involved. I not only want to see the world; I want to experience it.

These days, I think about her a lot. If I think about her for more than a few seconds, the pain becomes unbearable.

I crave real human connection. No bullshitting, no shit-talking, no joking around. Just very real dialogue that changes you once the conversation is over.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

O amor e feio

The content of my blogs are becoming too private.

Brazil is looking feio ("ugly"). Well, MY Brazil SITUATION is looking feio.
Falando disso, meu portugues ta feio. (Speaking of which my Portuguese is ugly).

I'm thinking that maybe, just maybe, I want too much. AH! JOY, STOP!
Back to a superficial blog...

Good thing LA has its own whitewashed version of Brazil.
But this year, we're getting Afro-Brasil!!!
I can't wait!!! Ahhhhhhh toddler excitement.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Samba what?

So I'm youtubing (yes, "youtubing," yet another 21st century verb) Samba videos.
Oh, I miss you, Samba. Dirty, bastardized, street Samba from Bahia.

Mr. beef saw me dance this weekend. Like the way I really dance when I'm feelin' the music, not the way I make fun of white people dance (fist pumps & two steps). Mostly my hip hopperized version of salsa and samba, but it was nerve racking! At first, anyway.
Once that Afro-brasileira in me comes out, she just won't stop! Until, well, "Today Was a Good Day" comes on, and then it's all Kimora Lee/Nikki Minaj/Amerie from there.
What can I say? I loves me some Ice Cube. Especially if you're in Downey. You just gotta do it.

Anyways, as soon as shy Korean Joy resurfaced, I was feeling pretty embarrassed.

I did get to see a few friends I studied with in Brazil. I haven't seen 2 out of 3 since Brazil.
The four of us got some tipsy Portuguese in while Boyfriend was judging us.
It's okay. We were speaking some jacked up Portuguese. Good times.

*Speaking of good times, with my photo, I reminisce on times when I actually sort of liked my hair, which is definitely not the case today.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Brasil's 1st lady prez?

IF I make it to Brasil by February, we'll have a new president.
This is me sharing knowledge with the world. Or the four people that read my blog :)

Thursday, August 5, 2010

It'll grow back, asshole.

It's really sad how emotionally attached we are to the dumbest things. Like money. And food.
And in my case, hair.
I got a hair cut today. Apparently not everyone's definition of "trim" and "2 inches" is the same.
That bitch must've cut off at least 4 or 5 inches. And she's my people, too.
She did me wrong.
That's all for today.
She did me wrong!

P.S. This is just one more reason I'm reading Eat, Pray, Love. Cuz I'm an emo schoolgirl bitch who cries when her hair is cut too short.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Decisions, decisions. 5 countries vs. Brazil

I always feel so awkward/uncomfortable receiving services from other Asian people.
Like at nail salons or foot spas or even pho restaurants. I can't explain exactly why.
Maybe this is why I haven't really dated any Asians...hahaha. I'm just kidding.
I really don't know why that last part is.

So, I have some really awesome news.
My dad has some pretty extensive travel plans for the next few months & today, my mom suggests I go with him, which leaves some major pros and cons:

Cons: 1) Not having as much autonomy as I would like (That in itself is enough to maybe not go...?) 2) Not having enough money to go to Brazil in February = BIG con! 3) Probably having to forfeit my awesome, prestigious position at Starbucks. (I'm totally kidding.)

Pros: Argentina, Chile, South Korea, Cambodia, China. I KNOW!!!

Ahh, I dunno, i dunno! I love traveling so much I don't know what to do with myself!

On another note, NERD ALERT! I love my Political Violence class. It's all about the phenomena (yes, the phenomena) of terrorism. I'll stop right there cuz I won't stop. And I'm reading Eat, Pray, Love so I can finish it before I go watch the film. ALONE. :)