Sunday, May 1, 2011

The Reins of Time

I haven't felt this much like myself since I was 18 and lost in Paris or the times I used to sit and read in that hidden cafe on the loft of a used bookstore in DF or even those awkward rides home from Retiro to Belgrano. If today was a photography exhibit, its title would be "Remnants of Europe." Think El Zocalo (DF), Buenos Aires, old Catholic churches in major Latin American cities, Pelourinho (Bahia).

Don't misunderstand. There is nothing European about Korea.

Today just feels different. It's probably the fact that it's Sunday, all the walking, solitude, no concept of time. That's it!!! No concept of time! What a beautiful thing: time to walk, time to smell, time to stop and watch children play, time to wait for the bus or to just keep walking to the next bus stop, time to give solicitors the time of day, time to write, time to listen to music, voices, footsteps, traffic, time to think about the very next step/moment and not tomorrow. I've become such a mess that I actually find comfort in writing about tomorrow. That's why lists of any form, ranging from To Do and Grocery lists, bring me so much comfort. That's sad. Thinking about the past, namely my grandma, conversely brings about pain and all its intensity.

I was born into a culture that praises work, money, status, security, retirement. Yes, both cultures.

That is why this today-the enjoyment of the now-is so nice. Paulo Coelho once wrote that we control time. While on a practical level, it's difficult to agree with him, I think I'm starting to get it.

In Korea and finally settling into my apartment, my life here, and my own skin.

1 comment:

  1. Is your apartment only one room? I like your plants & view. It is good to enjoy today & not be anxious for tomorrow...I can relate to the "Sunday feeling". I guess God intended us to slow down a bit once a week & appreciate the world He created. Your sister, Mike & kids came over for dinner tonight. Miss you Joy!